If the family persists in criticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on father. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience. We shouldnt be shy on this matter of prayer. There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. So our fellow worker will soon have friends galore. If he is conscientiously following the program of recovery he can go anywhere your business may call him. A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated. At midnight he came home exhausted, but very happy. He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom? Id prove to the world I was important. Have you a sufficient substitute?. Some of them rose out of ignorance of alcoholism. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. The Big Book has given me that comfort and the push to move forward. But that was over now. American Captain 2 Steve Rogers Men Cosplay Full Set Costume. Gearhart Beach Sand Dollars, Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. We avoid retaliation or argument. It was a devastating blow to my pride. But they often suspect they are down for the count. Be determined that your husbands drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferers. Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. We were burned up.. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. There are many. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. The emphasis is on the first 89 pages of the Book, which have not been altered since originally published in 1939. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of Gods will into all of our activities. This PDF file is an Easy-Read Large Print Ebook created in 2009 by major1212 -at-pobox.com. You will learn the full meaning of Love thy neighbor as thyself.. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. With these we have had experience galore. In case he does stumble, even once, you will have to decide whether to let him go. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 Viewed on any device capable of viewing PDFs. We couldnt duck the issue. Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. I know little of where I went or what I said and did. Each might pray about it, having the other ones happiness uppermost in mind. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought lustre to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. What our friend, the vice president, had in mind was the habitual or whoopee drinker. how many electrolyzers per hydrogen generator; 5-letter words containing g l a s; teach your child the word of god bible verse. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness. The author is a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Bill W. & Dr. Bob. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other peoples shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night. We hope this book has answered some of them. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. A contradiction! He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry. Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. We shall tell you what we have done. As we shall see, he now means a great deal to his community, and the major liabilities of thirty years of hard drinking have been repaired in four. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink. We think not. It also varies if you include words and phrases such as "Requires", "Had to", "Imperative . Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. The truth is the number of words per page depends on a variety of factors such as the type of font, the font size, spacing elements, margin spacing, and paragraph length to name This is the key text that the Alcoholics Anonymous program is founded on, the first 164 pages of the Big Book. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so. This may seem severe, but it is usually the best course. Nearly all have recovered. Sometimes there were other women. He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy. There is a good bit of travel between East and West and we foresee a great increase in this helpful interchange. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep affection. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so. We want to stay out of this controversy. Do not set your heart on reforming your husband. The focus is the Big Book; Muckers use no other text. Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000. We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally. there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Sub-sede: Rua Prudente de Moraes, 911 A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. It is better for him to feel fully responsible. When drinking, they were strangers. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition, whatever that happens to be. Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. Usually the family should not try to tell your story. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. We have it with us right here and now. If he temporizes and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. We do not know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long. The papers reported men jumping to death from the towers of High Finance. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. . To me these occurrences are phenomena. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. I had often pondered these things. Their chances are less than average. Work better. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. In one form or another we had been living by faith and little else. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. This had to be stopped. Still you may say: But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book. We cannot be sure. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. We shall do our utmost to achieve that ideal. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. When a person offended we said to ourselves, This is a sick man. Thus we grow. This is the Great Fact for us. At one of the finals I was too drunk to think or write. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. If he means to right his past wrongs, why all this concern for everyone in the world but his family? One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it. To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude. My friends had dropped several million since ten oclock-so what? If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldnt want it. Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. You cannot see why it should be to anyone else, save the spineless and stupid. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love. This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you. Whatever the method, its object is to thoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alcohol. All Rights Reserved. But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so. The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. We talked of intolerance, while we were intolerant ourselves. Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. His reaction may be one of enthusiasm. Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative and likeable? WHOSE BOOK IS THIS? Printed in 2 BIG volumes, the 1987 Buick Chassis Service Manuals contained all of the . My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of But it is clear that we made our own misery. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. You can easily see why. For a few days he was depressed about his condition. All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. I pointed out that I had had nothing to drink whatever for three years, and this in the face of difficulties that would have made nine out of ten men drink their heads off. Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But my friend sat before me, and he made the point- blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His physical and mental condition were unusually good. 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